What is a happy marriage? All little girls dream of kissing a frog and ending up in a fairy tale romance with a handsome prince. Fairy tales such as The Frog Prince, Snow White and Cinderella embedded in our our minds a belief that life is full of magic. Subconsciously, the little girl in your wife dreams of a handsome prince to lead her through life’s journey. However she has become disenchanted because you, her husband, have not lived up to expectations and failed to fulfill the princely role. When you got married, your wife wished to live happily ever after.
So men, do you want to know how to become your wife’s Prince Charming? It is simple, make her your Princess. Become the leader she is geneticall programmed to want and need. Just like in in politics, in business and in society, leadership is the key ingredient to having a successful and happy marriage..
The key ingredients of a happy marriage are
1) Leadership – Leadership is the number one critical factor in a happy marriage. Wherever you look in society there is a leader – politics, religion, business. Marriage is no different. It requires a leader, a prince charming, to head the family and protect it from danger. Females are genetically programmed to want and need a leader; it dates back to the caveman days and has been kept alive in fairy tales and romantic Mills and Boon novels ever since.
2) Attraction -What attracted your wife to you? You may have been the frog, but to her, you were her prince charming, the man to fulfill her childhood Cinderella fantasy. Be the man she subconsciously believes will lead her through life’s journey and protect her from danger. Rebuild that attraction she once had for you and turn back into that handsome prince, become the leader she so desires and I can assure you that you will have a happy marriage.
3) Romance – Most fairy tales end romantically. A successful marriage needs to have one as well. Most woman fantasize about romance and love to watch romantic movies. How wonderful are the romantic occasions you have together? The little gestures are so important to your princess – an intimate touch, a hug, a kiss, a romantic candlelit dinner, dancing cheek to cheek, an island holiday. Let the prince charming in you keep the romance alive throughout your marriage. Romance leads to lust and passion which in turn leads to sexual intimacy.
4) Sex – Sex is a sharing of the most intimate nature, the intertwining of body, mind and soul. It is a basic human need and something to be shared, honoured and enjoyed with love as well as passion between the prince charming and his princess forever. To quote Ita Buttrose (Australian of the year 2013) “……..seniors are not retiring from the bedroom…..older Australians enjoy an active sex life as much as younger ones……” And so should you. Enjoy a great and passionate sex life no matter what stage of life you are in.
5) Intimacy – As well as intimacy on a physical level you must have intimacy on a spiritual and emotional level. This involves the intimate looks, the intimate touches not just in a sexual way but in everyday living. To be on the same intimacy level as your princess brings a great deal of comfort and joy and also provides security and is the recipe for a long lasting love and a happy marriage.
6) Unconditional love – Deep down devotion to your princess is the sign of unconditional love. You may not always like your princess’s actions or beliefs for some reason or another. However do not confuse this with loss of love. Don’t confuse behaviour with emotions. It is okay to sometimes dislike her actions, but it isn’t okay to stop loving her as your princess, unconditionally.
7) Passion – A happy marriage is built out of very strong feelings of passion for your princess – a deep emotional, intense feeling of excitement, enthusiasm, and desire for her. Passion involves strong feelings of romance and sexual desire all wrapped up in love. Are these passionate feelings there for your wife?
8) Friendship – To be best friends is a very important part of a happy marriage. When your princess is your best friend there is always someone there to laugh with and to cry with. Someone to have fun with, and share activities. Make plenty of time for fun together. Going out to socialise is an essential element of your life together. It is essential to participate in fun things together. But don’t forget to do things without your partner so that you maintain your individual friendships. Make your wife your best friend.
9) Companionship – As well as being your best friend your princess is your companion, there for you to share the achievements and problems in life no matter how big or small; someone to share the highlights and the sorrows; a partner who is always there for you; someone to do things with; someone who cares about you. It is always nice to know that you can confide in someone who cares about you. A problem shared is a problem halved. Together if you care about each other you can work it out.
10) Communication – Open, frank communication is a much needed factor of a happy marriage. This is necessary so each has an understanding of what the other is thinking and why. Often if decisions are made without consultation, dissatisfaction and tension develop. This of course is detrimental to the ongoing relationship. However it is also important to remember that constant bickering and problem solving kills attraction. Don’t have another argument with your wife until you learn how to turn every argument into attraction.
11) Trust – Marriage is built on trust. You need the security that your spouse is truthful in all aspects of your life together and that there are no secret motives or surprises lingering in the closet. If trust dies the marriage will also die.
12) Reliability – It is important that you can rely on each other in good times and in bad. When required, each of you must come to the helm and help each other and hold the fort. If you can’t rely on each other, then who can you rely on?
13) Financial stability – Tensions often arise when there is concern over finances. Of course everyone would like more money, however if you work together to create a budget and have achievable financial goals then this minimises the opportunity for marital discord. Share your goals with your princess. Work with each other on an agreed saving and spending expectations. If you run into financial problems, face them together. Don’t hide things from each other. Any problems can be resolved with openness and honesty.
14) Shared responsibilities – It is important for a happy marriage to share all responsibilities not just financial ones. Nothing will sour a marriage more than if one person is doing all the chores and making all the sacrifices. Household chores and child rearing have to be shared, especially if both of you work. Establish and implement an agreed roster. Don’t assume your partner will do everything. Offer help and work together as a team.
15) Fidelity – If you are unfaithful to your princess you are sure to damage your marriage. For it brings into the marriage lies and deceit. Always remain faithful. If the need to stray comes over you there is something really wrong with your relationship. It is then time to look into what is causing those feelings. Attraction and leadership will lead you to a happy marriage.
16) Forgiveness -If things to start to go wrong remember that there is power in the words “I am sorry.” Because you are both human, fights and squabbles are bound to happen. Comments must be directed at actions and behaviours, never at the person. Remember you love your spouse unconditionally. But always be prepared to say you are sorry and to forgive. That way you can celebrate the conciliation and make up passionately. It is important to make up and say “I love you” before leaving the house or going to sleep.
If you are aware of these ingredients which make a happy marriage you will discover that fairytales can come true. The frog can become a prince and Cinderella can become a princess. It is possible to live happily ever after.
By Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay