You’re at a party and you notice a guy who people are almost magnetically drawn to. Everybody laughs at his jokes. He tells stories that hit like a Hollywood movie. Guys offer to refill his beer. Girls step a little closer to him.
A thought pops into your head that this guy seems like a lot of fun and you’d like to go say hi.
Now, do you hesitate out of nervousness and wonder what you’ll talk about, or do you immediately go over and introduce yourself, knowing you’ll strike up a new friendship?
What happens in that moment indicates whether or not you have performed one of the most fundamental and important steps in making new friends: developing the ability to start and hold interesting conversations.
The key word being INTERESTING!
This skill is so important I believe it’s the difference between having an awesome life filled with friends that would run out in traffic for you or being an “outsider looking in”, who nobody cares about while everybody else has all the fun.
If striking up a conversation and making new friends is difficult for you, then I’m here to help.
Today I’m going to give you a turn-key system for starting conversations with people you don’t know. It will allow you to instantly, effortlessly and painlessly talk to anyone. And, if done properly, you’ll be making new friends faster.
And it works for even the most socially inept people.
A few years back I knew a guy we’ll call Jim, who was afraid of talking to women.
Actually he was more than afraid, he was petrified. Just the thought of walking up to a woman and talking to her would cause his hands to sweat. He’d get tense as a board. And his eyes would dart around like a cat watching a mosquito fly around the room.
In the two years I hung around him Jim never had a girlfriend.
And here’s the weird thing, Jim is a smart and funny guy. It’s just that if he didn’t know the woman, he wouldn’t know what to say. He confided in me on day that when he saw a woman he wanted to talk to he would freeze up.
He just couldn’t think of what to say. I taught Jim the system you’re about to learn and his problems were gone.
You see, most people are horrible at starting a conversation with a stranger for one reason.
They don’t plan on having something to say if they want to strike up a conversation. And the stress of the moment causes them to “freeze up” in the moment.
If they do manage to say something, they usually just wing it. That’s why most people get stuck in boring conversations like talking about the weather, their jobs or whatever happened to be on TV last night.
So what’s the solution?
Before going into a situation where you know you might meet people, you need to plan on having something to say. That way you avoid that “freeze up” experience that prevents you from acting.
You do this with these three simple steps:
1. First, think of a subject that will be interesting to your audience. To do this you need to think about what type of people will be where you are going.
2. Second, ask a question that elicits their opinion on that subject. People always like to talk about things that they’re interested in.
3. Third, listen.
Sound difficult? Here’s an example.
Your friend tells you he’s throwing a mini-party for a big boxing match and you’re invited. Shazaam, boxing match, these people must like boxing.
Now you jump on google and type in boxing. 90 million pages pop up. No big deal because you just pick the first one that says news. Next, you find an article that interests you and read it. Let’s say it’s about a particular fighter’s nutrition plan.
Now you sit down and think of three questions that ask for an opinion.
Here’s a few.
— Hey, I was reading today that boxers only eat 500 calories a day for two weeks to get down to fighting weight. What do you think of that?
— Hey, what do you think of Roy Jones Jr. eating 12 apples a day leading up to his fight?
— Hey, did you hear that Russian boxers only eat pig fat on the day of their fights?
Or whatever interesting tidbit of information that you learn.
You write those down, put them in your back pocket and go to the party. Now it’s time to start a conversation. Simply find a person you’d like to talk to and ask them your pre-prepared question.
And listen to what they say, be genuinely interested.
Since you’ve prepared before hand, you don’t have to think about what to say. And this should relieve a lot of the stress when it comes to finding out what to say to make new friends.
By tshirtevolution from Pixabay