February is the month of Valentine’s Day and the month of L-O-V-E. After my husband died, it was the worst month of the year for me. Valentine’s Day was the worst holiday. I listened almost non-stop to the commercial advertisements of “Buy the one you love . . ” Take the one you love . . . ” and I didn’t have anyone who loved me. Or did I?
Valentine’s Day has turned into the holiday for lovers to focus on each other, declaring their undying love for each other and treating each other special on this special day. Often Valentine’s Day turns out to be the holiday when women are disappointed and men are confused. And those are the “lucky” ones who have a significant other in their life.
What about the millions of people who are not in a relationship or who aren’t in a happy, satisfying one? What do they do?
Valentine’s Day as a holiday focused on love is a great idea. Love is everywhere. Love is not just about the romantic kind. There is self-love, friendship love, agape love, love of family, spiritual love, love of life, and love of gratitude, just to mention a few. Identifying a specific day to celebrate love serves as a reminder of all the love each of us has for which to be grateful. It doesn’t mean you only need to focus on “love” one day a year or that recognizing love any other day is not necessary.
Use Valentine’s Day as a reminder that love is in abundance for everyone. You are never without it. Do you remember it?
When you were born people loved you. You grew to know you were the center of the universe, capable of virtually anything. You loved yourself without question. Whatever entity you believe is the Creator is love and fills every nook and cranny in this world with love that’s accessible to you upon request.
So on Valentine’s Day and all the other days, focus on love. You get to choose the kind upon which you want to focus. Do you have a partner? Focus on him or her. Do you want to improve the relationship you have with yourself? Focus on loving yourself better. Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Focus on the love of gratitude, shifting your focus away from the things you don’t have and focusing instead on the things you do.
Being without a romantic interest in the month of February does not mean you can’t expand the love in your life. The only way I know to expand anything in our lives is by focusing with gratitude about what you have, even if it feels like a miniscule amount.
Where is the love in your life? Do you have friends who love you? Your parents? Siblings? Do you love yourself, even a little? Are there acquaintances or strangers that show you kindness? How about a pet? Do you believe in a higher power that embodies love?
No life is completely devoid of love. If you perceive there is no love in your life, then you have convinced yourself that a lie is true. There is love, you just have to allow yourself to experience it, no matter how small. If you believe in a higher power, then you know love is freely given to you. You have simply to tune in to the love that connects all living things to feel the love in your life. Focus on that love and allow it to fill the spaces between you and the other people in your life.
If you can find one person who loves you or is kind to you, start there. Give thanks every day for the moments of kindness/love you experience in your life. Show your gratitude for every morsel of love you can get in your life.
And finally, if you are so focused on the lack of love in your life that you are unable to glimpse the moments you do have, then focus on the love you have for yourself. I know what you are thinking. You’re thinking if you can’t think of anyone who loves you, then how can you love yourself? But you aren’t in control of what other people do. You can only control yourself. So even if up to now you hate yourself, today will start the first day of self-love.
Let’s start with baby steps. Look in the mirror and find one small thing you love about yourself. I think I have pretty feet so I might start there. I also know kindness is one of my highest values and I like myself for that. Find at least one thing about yourself to love and focus on the feeling you get when you think about something you appreciate about yourself. Before you know it, you will be able to see additional things you love until you are having a love affair with yourself.
Whatever your relationship status is on Valentine’s Day, in February or any month of the year, focus on the abundance of love you have rather than the love you perceive you are missing and you will see love expanding in your life.
By RitaE from Pixabay