Do you miss the way her hair smells just after being washed? Was she your best friend? Was she a knock-out? When a relationship ends, it can mean saying goodbye to the most important person in your life. Happily, your past relationship could make a comeback. Here are 5 steps to success.
Step #1: Talk to a friend first: Getting back with your ex-girlfriend could be the right decision, or it could be a nightmare. Sit down with a trusted friend and ask him or her whether it makes sense to give it another try with your ex. Don’t let your friend dictate your love life, but do get some perspective before trying to get your ex back.
Step #2: Be savvy about finding her: If your ex is trying to avoid you, or if there is some legal reason you should not get in touch with her again, it is best to stop your search an move on in your life. If everything is fine in that department, go ahead and look her up online or hire a detective to find out her current contact information. A phone number and e-mail address should suffice, at least for now.
Step #3: Call first: You could really surprise or shock your ex if you just show up at her home or place of business unannounced: you do not want to be seen as some sort of stalker. So, I suggest calling or e-mailing her first. When you speak with her, tell her you would really enjoy meeting up with her and ask her if you could meet. Be very cautious here and keep your cool. You want to make her feel like an old buddy is calling, not a distraught and lonely ex-boyfriend.
Step #4: Be straight with her: Be sure to dress nicely, but do not overdo it. You should handle the entire meeting with just the right mix of seriousness and playfulness, urgency and casualness. She is going to have a lot of questions in her mind, although she may not voice any of them. During this meeting, let her know exactly how you are feeling. Let her know you have been thinking about her a lot lately. Important: do not overwhelm her. Just keep it even keel for now.
Step #5: Give her some time: Imagine this from her perspective: here you are, showing up after all of this time and seeming like you want to rekindle things. Even if she is enticed by the idea, she may have a lot of other, conflicting emotions. The best thing to do after your first meeting is to give her some time. Give her your contact information and let her know that you are there if she ever needs to talk.
Locating and re-connecting with your ex can be a very exciting and yet very emotional time for both of you. You may still be the best thing that ever happened to one another: only time will tell. But, if you do believe there is a chance for your love to pull you through your recent problems, why not give it a chance?
So, take it slow and position yourself to be in her life again.
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